I’m A Flirt

Other than being scared shitless by an article this morning about drug-resistant MRSA, Staph infection (scary right?), this has been a pretty solid week thus far.

Went to a great concert, got to talk with some friends and work is going well. I haven’t even had sex or tried to since last Friday so that’s a step too.  I even made a bet with this guy that I wouldn’t have any intimate contact for at least 10 days in exchange for a flight to New York (good deal huh lol?)

In our agreement, no sex will consist of: touching, penetration, oral, foreplay - nothing

What we didn’t discuss was a nasty habit I have; flirting. Although I don’t consider flirting as a form of cheating in this bet, if I told you about some of my methods…you might be disturbed.

I’ve managed to avoid adam4adam completely, be just cordial on jack’d (even though I found the guy from last week’s foursome on there) and haven’t even text a “buddy” in days; small steps, but steps to say the least.

However, last weekend a friend of mine asked me did I have a vine. Now I don’t live under a rock, I’ve heard about the joys of this vine porn, but I’ve managed to resist mainly because I can just do instead of watch. Saturday, though, I gave in.

I made one and spent about a half an hour watching 6 second porn clips from people all over the country and starting uploading my own. The attention, which is what I do most of my exhibitionist behavior for, felt great.

I moved from vine to sharing porn vids in my phone with random people (man I need self-control).  Before I knew it I was doing that old “cyber flirting” thing that has consistently landed me in hot water.

Call it a form of “liquid courage”, but I have an issue conversing with other gay men without becoming sexual and overly flirtatious. Sometimes initiated by me and sometimes by them, but I never resist. It becomes my time to shine, so I do it.

I wonder if I’ll get to a point where I can control this behavior. I mentioned in previous post on how I managed to resist the flirting urge face-to-face, but the online thing is challenge.

Maybe I’ll really have to give some of those avenues up for good. I like facebook and twitter though, they’re tools for meeting people so I won’t give them up.

Just have to start using them the right way.

- CGN