Let's Talk About Sex

So today turned out to be a great day. I spent time with my grandma, made time to see some good friends and family AND met a new guy.

This guy "T" was the classmate I was referring to in my post about white men that I exposed myself to this morning on adam4adam. Earlier I gave him my number and we text back and forth for a couple hours of the day. No biggie, I tend to give out my number on apps and get no response so I wasn't trippin' about meeting even though he seemed nice. 

Lo-and-behold, he actually text me when I had a space of free time before meeting up with my friends and we went to have drinks.  When I first saw him, I thought he was attractive. Slim, intelligent, glasses, great face, so we ended up talking for two hours in a bar about our feelings on being gay, life in DC and ATL (where he lives), work and the inevitable, sex.

Now this for me, as you all can tell by now, is a touchy subject.  I'm straddling the fence between throwing in the towel on love and diving into whoredom and actually ditching my addiction for something with some substance.

On the topic of sex, we ended up playing a mini-version of "never have a I ever", the drinking game where you make true or false statements about your sexual past and the person that has done the most acts has the most drinks. Well of course, even being a year his junior and not living in Atlanta, I lost the game. Damn my life in DC. Then as the alcohol coursed through my veins the tales of sexual deviance poured from my mouth like water from botched levy. I had freak diarrhea of the mouth and I couldn't stop it.

Then before I spilled all the beans like I usually do, I took a second to stop and think about some advice a friend of mine gave me about meeting guys.  Whether, I'm looking to make a friend or strike up a relationship, I shouldn't divulge too much information about myself up front. Not only can it be damaging to my image, but it can make me seem for a lack of better words "thirsty" and trifling to someone I just met. Like, if someone that was just playfully flirting or having a mild conversation heard the wild things I've done, they would immediately see me as the very thing I'm trying to walk away from. 

So I remembered that, shut my big mouth and re-routed the conversation to something more substantial about coming out to family and the importance or lack thereof, of doing so.  After I dropped him off at his family's place, I wanted to pat myself on the back. I managed to take a step forward in not going into details about my countless threesomes, didn't show him any nudes in my phone or videos I made. I didn't even hint at trying to sleep with him.  I kept it comical, yet real.

Its all about growth and I'm taking baby steps.

- CGN