I Want You

"Love is on the way
All I got to say
Is it wont let go"

"We can pray to early May
Fast for 30 days
Still It wont let go"

"Got a good book and got all in it
Tried a little yoga for a minute
But it wont let go (oooh)"

"Tried to turn the sauna up hotter
Drank a whole jar of holy water
But it wont let go"

 The Badu song, "I want you", was playing in my car as I left the office today for the last day of 2013.

Having all the "free time" in the world could be a great thing for the right person, and don't get me wrong I love the break, but it provides me with another challenge; to avoid a "relapse".

During my period of "funemployment" and hell my last holiday, when I started this blog, I found no positive ways of expressing myself other than sleeping around for the hell of it.

Granted this was after a period of having no sex for a few months (not because I didn't want to either) and I was in a "new" city, but that certainly doesn't excuse sex on almost the daily with countless people.

To make matters worse, I've found a few potentially cool guys while "diamond mining" on jack'd, but they are surrounded by all of the freshly home for the holidays horny guys that have already tried to get at me.

Just last night, a guy opened his pics and asked me to "cum through" since he was only in town for the night. Hell, TONIGHT I got this:

Smh.

I've made it to day 6 of my 10 agreement not to do anything sexual and the weekend might be a challenge.  I can't shake the feelings of wanting to have sex or be physical with someone.

Like Badu said, "I got a good book, started writing, made a bet, but it won't let go".  I even went against my better wishes and looked at porn (I have to do something right?) but I can't shake the feelings.

I want sex sans the feelings afterwards. If bad habits die hard, my dick is on brick and he ain't going no where.

They say it takes 21 days to form a habit and 21 to break one. I've been fucking tons of guys for years, but I'm definitely up for challenge.

- CGN