The Prayer

The song playing at the end of the American Horror Story this week, (you know the one when Queeny was shot by the Witch Hunter?), has been stuck in my head since I heard it.

The song "Oh, Freedom", a civil rights anthem sang by the Golden Gospel Singers with the lyrics:

"And Before I'll be a slave
I'll be buried in my grave
And Go to My Lord
And Be Free"

It spoke to my soul, not because of the connection to the civil rights era and progress in Black America, but it shed a light on my current situation.

Addiction is a form of mental slavery. The shackles, whether they be personal validation, fulfillment or escapism, may have been given to you by life's experiences, but they can be broken.

Mine, which happens to be a form of sexual ADHD, formed by a desire to belong to a community and connect with people like myself mixed with my belief that my worth is in the physical, has enslaved me long enough.

I've stunted my growth in forming relationships and meaningful friendships long enough. Its just time for a shift.

Earlier this year I faced a near death experience and in my darkest hour, I told myself I would change. That I would stop living for the moment and start living for the future.  I promised God that, if given the chance, I would hone my gifts to make this world a better place and love myself the way my family, friends and maker has time and time again.

In the words of fellow lover of the written word and published author Erma Bombeck:

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

I had a fulfilling conversation this evening about learning to look at my life differently and this blog has helped me steer away from some major distractions, which I am proud of.

I was almost buried in my grave earlier this year, still a slave to this destructive pattern in my life. I can confidently say that I'm turning a corner and not just keeping my promise to God, but to myself to maximize my potential and approach my life holistically, honestly and fill it with love.

As the final days of 2013 come to a close, I'm excited about the next steps in this journey called life will bring me in the new year.

- CGN

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/e/ermabombec106409.html#QLVPJzASEVcJUS0z.99

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/e/ermabombec106409.html#QLVPJzASEVcJUS0z.99

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/e/ermabombec106409.html#QLVPJzASEVcJUS0z.99

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/e/ermabombec106409.html#QLVPJzASEVcJUS0z.99

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/e/ermabombec106409.html#QLVPJzASEVcJUS0z.99