Ever notice how rarely things are as simple as they should be? Anything you think will be quick and easy or a piece of cake just never is when it comes down to it.
That short line in the grocery store you think will be the fastest, always has someone trying to return something and use 55 coupons.
When play Mr. Mechanic and go through the trouble in the cold (like I did today) of googleing how to replace that light in your car, you find out you needed a bulb AND a socket. (I mean really?)
Then when you meet a guy that tells you he's "DL, Masculine", you hook up with him, he asks for the "documentation" of the encounter via email and you get nosey...you find out that man was full of shit.
Now. By NO means am I endorsing the "DL" lifestyle, I prefer to call myself discreet (my ish is too colorful to be made public and is on a need to know basis), but I appreciate a little honesty. That honesty doesn't have to be your name, because dudes think that's like a monumental transgression to tell you the truth, but dammit don't let you lie catch you up.
I'm talking about you, sir. The guy that gave me your email that I stuck in the facebook search box to see what you were about, and you had pics edited in paint with misspelled captions doing the duck face like a 13 year-old girl on crushspot.
How dare you tell me you were "DL" when you walk out in public with dyed hair and walk around in the gay uniform. You know the outfit that gays love to wear: the fitted caps, to look "masculine", the tank top, cut off shorts, beaded bracelets and mystery label gym shoes; it reeks of tackiness.
Lastly, how dare you sit next to me in YOUR bed after we finish fucking some unattractive bottom you summoned over, likely because of my looks and NOT yours, and tell him that your name is something completely different than you told me. Caught you slippin' bruh.
I know you didn't think I'd respond to your text ever again. Oh you did? That's so sweet....
You'd think I'd learn from the first time since moving back to the midwest, but no, I haven't. I've been fooled over and over again by people telling me they're somebody that they're really not.
I can talk about J, who told me he "don't get down like that", but when I brought him up to an older friend, not only was this fool a stone cold freak that loves to fuck raw, he also is a part-time bottom. A RAW BOTTOM at that! He's lucky he's fine or else I would've cut his ass off. I liked talking him the first time we met so the jury isn't out on him (I don't hit him up, I'll wait for him to because I know he will).
I'm talking about you old classmate that claimed to be "masculine" and discreet, but every knows is gay (I mean you were one of the only gay dudes in high school, boy stop). Not to mention that bad girls club attitude of your when you get in one of your moods (that shit is so unattractive).
You "T" that told me you couldn't chill with me in public because you didn't want people knowing about you; when I dress like I stepped out of a J. Crew catalog and you dress like you stepped out of Claire's with that cubic zirconia cartilage piercing in your ear.
And lastly YOU Mr. "I really like you, I'm looking to hang with you; we have a lot in common". You could've told me that all we had in common were the two times we raw dogged those random bottoms at your "friends" house. You also could've mentioned that you never planned on talking to me for real because when I glanced at your phone I saw my number light up telling me I was NOT saved as a contact. You could've told me you were verse and just didn't want to bottom for me, so I didn't have to find out through a video of you taking some white man raw on the internet. You also could've told me your real name instead of the one "everyone calls you".
Enough is enough.
Bed hopping with strangers is risky as it is, but doing so with the intention of meeting new people is even more disappointing when they are too stupid to cover their tracks when they lie.
Why do gays lie so much anyway?
Is it to protect themselves from the wrong kind of exposure? Do we lie about our status' online and in your face to get what we want? Or are we just that evil?
I don't think people are innately bad, expect for "BD" that fool was off the chain; instead our lifestyle is built on so many lies that we sometimes forget its ok to tell the truth. We are afraid to be honest with other people because we are afraid to be honest with ourselves. Its better to keep up the facade rather than risk having to do some introspection. Maybe we're afraid to find out how fucked up we really are.
If you want to shame yourself into fooling other people have at it, but I'm taking off the dunce cap and deleting your numbers for good.
So the next time I get a "sup" from "D", "T", "J" or any of these others midwest entrenched fools, I'll hit them with a "No hable ingles".
- CGN
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