We Don't Need Another "Hero"

Michael Sam.

I don't need to link to it. You can google the name if you've been living under some sort of rock. So this is where we are as a group. Fighting for marriage equality (well the elite gays that benefit are at least) and having gay "heroes" pop up to let the world know that we exist.

Yay. Whoo...hoo.

"I may be goin' ta hell in yo eyes, I may be broke, Beyonce may neva write a song about me, but dammit we HERE!"

Thank you for the monologue of homo triumph, but let's talk about the ugly side of things.

I read an article about former, now jailed, porn star Mike Dozier, fucking a 14 year old and supposedly not informing the minor of his HIV positive status.

Let's break this shit down point by point:

1) We have a 14 year-old on jack'd flirting with an attractive 33 year-old and either soliciting sex OR accepting a sexual solicitation.

2) We have a 33 year-old man that supports himself by defiling himself on camera with presumably no retirement options or health care coverage, if he has any now, after he ends his career.

3) The adult is HIV positive, the minor allegedly was not.

4 They had sex and now its a problem.

Well I hate to break it to you folks, but it was a problem at number 1.

Why on earth would a 14 year-old be on jack'd, a "social network for gays" (don't get me started on that shit) be flirting with a 33 year-old?

I'm not shaming the victim or excusing the adult, but let's examine this, why?

My issue with the gay right's "movement" other than comparing itself to the "black rights struggle" is the ridiculous and contradictory nature of it. We consider milestones famous, rich and people with access coming out.

The politics behind this is to show people that are closeted its "ok to be gay" and you are not alone. Existence is a form a resistance..what the fuck ever.

Then when people come out, what's next? Do we magically find other gays that are relationship oriented and live happily ever after? Do we form a strong community that is loving, non-discriminatory or exploitative for societal advancement?

Novel ideas, but they aren't reality.

The reality is, we bring people into another place where they are ostracized, alienated and just as vulnerable as they were when they were in the closet.

Take this 14 year-old and substitute him with any other young boy on jack'd, BGC, a4a, scruff, grindr or whatever else that is posting pictures of his face and noticing that those people get looked over. Not only that; he, because of his age and horniness, is drawn to the scores of shirtless and nude profiles competing for the same number of limited eyes.

Its simply human processing, the eye goes for what it finds attractive. In our community, that's dick, ass and abs. All else and I mean also is secondary.

I don't know the kid's story, but say he had his face up and nude private pics and he showed them to this porn star. I'm sure the XXX actor didn't have "I'm looking for a long lasting love" on his page, and they decided to hook up after exchanging their pics.

The boy already lied about his age because of the app's requirement to be 18, but Apple says people have to be 17 to download it (huh? another post, another time). So they fucked.

What would make a young boy do that?

Well we have programmed gay people to show one another what we value. Not your face, your accomplishments, but your body.

So we place mental traps for young people early on that tell them what's important, we have defined our lifestyle with sex. If you disagree, google a black pride or any pride and tell me what you see. Nudity, parties that invite "celebrities" from the adult world and well known sexual gatherings.

If we truly want an AIDS free generation we have to change our focus from sex. Instead of congratulating Jason Collins for coming out or Michael Sam, why not spotlight orgs fighting the virus? Oh...it only affects young blacks and latinos...duh how could I forget?

If we want to set a good example for young people, give them an outlet. Why can't GLAAD pay for the development of an app that is geared toward teens, sponsor teen workshops on safe sex and boosting our self esteem?

We ignore the fact that people that don't have the "big dick", are hung or have great abs just don't feel attractive. Even if they have those things, that's all they feel makes them valuable as gay men and women.  Empower people instead of making them feel alienated for not taking shirtless selfies that say "good morning" on instagram to get likes.

If we don't act so, we'll just perpetuate the cycle of using the same oppressive tactics men use against women to make them feel less valuable when they use things other than their minds to attract people and further dilute the cause for real "progress".

I wrote about secluding myself in a prior post and shit like this is why. We admire all the wrong things and hope them on a pedestal while so many of us are alienated and suffer.

I don't know man...it'd be a beautiful day when the word gay actually held its meaning when describing our people.

- CGN